Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Ultima Luna

Reinaldo Arenas

Por qué esta sensación de ir a buscarte
hacia donde por mucho que vuele
no he de hallarte.
Qué terror sin tiempo ahora me impele
a por sobre tanto terror siempre evocarte.
No ha de encontrar sosiego nuestra pena
(que hallarlo sería comenzar otra condena)
y por lo mismo jamás cesaré de contemplarte.
Luna, una vez más aquí estoy detenido
en la encrucijada de múltiples espantos.
El pasado es todo lo perdido
y si del presente me levanto
es para ver que estoy herido
(y de muerte)
porque ya el futuro lo he vivido.
Ésa, indiscutiblemente, ésa es la suerte
que por venir del infierno arrostro.
Extraña amante,
sólo me queda contemplar tu rostro
(que es el mío)
porque tú y yo somos un río
que recorre un páramo incesante,
circular e infinito:
un solo grito.

Tagged "Chicago"

Sunday, December 20, 2009


Hello again,
Sorry for the long intermission, but the moving process has unfortunately:
  1. Turned my apartment into a virtual Tetris maze of boxes, furniture, newspaper, and bubble wrap.
  2. Taken the convenience of home Internet.
  3. Caused me a mixed, confusing, blend of contradictory thoughts and emotions.
I now am a frequent visitor to my local Borders (look left) whose Green Tea and free Wifi never disappoint.

"Excuse me While I obsess"

There is no way to be truly great in this world. We are all impaled on the crook of conditioning. A fish that is in the water has no choice that he is. genius would have it that we swim in sand.
We are fish and we drown.

~James Dean

When I obsess I obsess...
So it started the other night with "Rebel Without a Cause", then the following night with "Giant" then last night I traveled downtown to a picture show at the Gene Siskel which is currently showing a limited engagement of "East of Eden" (Amazing I know). which was then followed by hours of Internet scavenging for videos, pictures, bios, snippets of his early television career.
I was yet again amazed and disappointed. Amazed at the beauty, the genius, the eyes. Disappointed at the lack of footage or documentation of his early stage and television work, saddened by his early and tragic demise and wondering/wanting just one kiss.
I remember watching his movies as a sexually confused boy who had no idea who or what I was, all I did know was I had seen a god, a man I thought about, the first man I couldn't forget...

Friday, December 11, 2009

"Vida Gitana"

For the 4th time in 3 years I am once again on the move.
Like always its not inner city or from neighborhood to neighborhood, its not even inner state but across the country! Its an open road.... me, my stuff and a truck.
As of yesterday Thursday December 11th, 2009 I officially started the packing, cleaning, dusting crying, boxing, bubble wrapping, smiling, labeling, taping, lifting, breaking, separating, daydreaming, stacking, reserving, scheduling, never ending process of moving.
This times different, a choice, MY choice.

Anyone out there willing to help?
I'm broke but can pay you in laughter & good times.
be able to follow directions (I'm somewhat of a control freak) be funny, organized, dependable, speak French or Spanish, be strong, patient, careful & kind. Smoke (no not cigarettes) and be able to handle an emotional outburst here or there.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

"Winter of our Discontent"

Winter has officially come.
she creeps in: colder nights, darker days, leaves falling, then she blankets us in white. Today was our 1st snowfall of the season and like always it was beautiful.
Everything covered in white, the pale blank canvas with a world underneath it. This is what I woke up to this morning, while walking to the store I snapped some shots of my hood. Its already a winter wonderland and were expecting 7 more inches.

PS: Im a big Steinbeck fan, and although not my favorite it's considered one of his greats, if you haven't read it I suggest you do.

Like Ethan Ive got plans...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

"El Comenzar"

My 1st official Winter knitting project.
In Spanish we call it "Punto". My grandmother, who practically raised me taught it to me when I was a little boy, I think more to keep me busy than to actually employ me as her workman.
But it worked, when I wasnt playing in the attic, backyard or building stairwell you could find me knitting away eating or playing with "Masa" which was this simple paste she'd make.
Mi abuelita was always in the kitchen, she LOVED cooking, which is probably where I get it from. In between her several caldos of Arroz con Leche, Huevos (hands down the best revoltillo ever), Sopita, Frijoles Negro, Arroz con Pollo, Flan etc, Id beg and beg for her to make me a batch.....
In a pot would go the ingredients, flour, salt, water, who knows what else and out would come what can only be described as playdo.
it truly was one of my favorite things,

I never really did finish much knitting back then but things they have a changed and soon you will see

Can you guess what it is?
or rather what it will be?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

"Sueños del Dia"

After a recent roadtrip through the rural midwest my love of trucks was rekindled, although I happen to like many trucks, s.u.v's, wagoneers etc as of late I find my thoughts on pick ups, an old pre 50's good ol american piece of machinery. This is purely desire, I live green, dont own a car, ride my bike all over.... But I grew up with rigs, vans, 12 wheelers, pick ups etc...My fathers several business ventures and construction company assured the presence of a truck or two at all times. There's nothing like riding in the back of a pick up, free, with the wind blowing, cleansing you. I remember forcing my sister to camp out in the bed of my fathers red and white Dodge pick up against her will. Many a night Id sneak out alone, lie in that bed and stare at the beautiful night sky, wondering, waiting, wishing....

Friday, December 4, 2009


She wanted sprinkles but all I had was jellybeans
she wore a flower dress and striped stockings she picked herself
Blue eyes like the ocean at dawn

her pet lambs name was Roxie.
She loved me
She was 6....

Today while working at the bakery, we met.

Oh how I hope my new friend returns.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

"Le Automne"

"My Street"

"The Lake"


El Primero

Full Moon, a boy lost, a new blog....
As the sun was rising as was la curiosidad: mine, yours, the trees, the wind, the sun, the moon = all interconnected. Last nights full moon inspired change or the allowance, understanding & acceptance of.

A Dream Within A Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?